2 Nephi 33

Nephi gives a powerful closing testimony in this chapter. He speaks of the charity he has for all men and that he has hope for all as long as they reconcile themselves unto Christ and walk the narrow path that leads back to Him. He declares that his words will stand as a testimony against all that will not partake of the goodness of God and bids them an everlasting farewell. I love how he uses the description, "I speak unto you as the voice of one crying from the dust." It makes me think of how Nephi was a real person, just like I am. He was really here on the earth and had much of the same physical struggles and the same basic spiritual battle that I am now experiencing. He loved, he hurt, he bled, he sweat, he cried, he laughed, he felt the Spirit, and he felt grief over his own weaknesses. What an amazing experience when we realize that these men and women of the scriptures were men and women just like we are! It makes it all so much more personal somehow.

2 Nephi 32

This chapter contains the powerful verse about prayer. Nephi tells us that the Spirit teaches a man to pray and the devil teaches a man that he must not pray. I know there have been times in my life where I have felt unworthy to pray. I felt that I would be a hypocrite to approach the Lord in the unworthy state that I was in. Yet, through the dark, I would feel the gentle tuggings of the Spirit, knowing deep down that I needed to pray at that moment more than ever. Without fail, I would always find the comfort, the forgiveness, and the will to turn again unto the Lord as I prayed. Heavenly Father loves us unconditionally and He is always there, waiting for us to come to Him for help in our struggles and most especially in our weakest moments.

2 Nephi 31

Nephi teaches us about the Savior's atonement and His perfect example for us. He points out that, even in His perfection, Christ humbly submitted to the will of the Father and was baptized. A prideful person would have haughtily declared that he had no need of repentance or forgiveness because he was free from stain. Yet Christ did not protest. He willingly obeyed and thereby set forth the example for the rest of us to follow.

I need a large dose of humility sometimes. I try so hard to be obedient and to follow the Lord's commands with exactness. Because of my earnest struggle for perfection, however, I am sometimes easily offended at the suggestion that I could be doing more, or when my faults or weaknesses are pointed out by another. Christ had no regard for the opinion of man. He cared only about pleasing the Father. I must continue to seek for the approval of Heavenly Father and not worry about how the world sees me. The Lord knows my heart. He knows how hard I am trying. Unfortunately, he also sees even those weaknesses that I seek to hide the deepest. I am broken and utterly vulnerable before His all-knowing eye. Yet there is a profound comfort in knowing that He not only loves me in spite of all of my faults, He stands ready to help me in overcoming them and is ever willing to forgive me for them. He sees my eternal potential and divine nature and I am His child. Nothing could possibly give me more happiness or contentment than to feel His all-encompassing love.

Mosiah 4:27

And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.

I am feeling so totally worn out, mentally & physically. I'm in the thick of things with school right now. I have two papers due next week and two finals the week after that. I'm trying to put together a service project for each of the Foster and Ballantyne families for Christmas. I just recently got called as the 1st counselor in the Young Women's presidency. Christmas is looming large and I have only done a bare minimum of shopping. I feel exhausted all of the time because I'm not getting enough sleep or exercise or eating well. So today, I picked up the scriptures to find some words of comfort to help me keep going. This scripture came to mind and it is exactly what I needed to hear. All of these things that I am trying to balance in my life need to be done in wisdom and order. There is definitely an order of priorities and I just physically can't do it all. I just need to make sure that the things I do choose to spend my time on are the things that matter most. No, I can't just bag my papers because I know my children are more important. But I can make sure I don't spend an absurd amount of time on them. I will pray for the Lord's help in accomplishing the things that matter most and that He will give me the serenity to let go of the things that I just can't do.

2 Nephi 24-30

Chapters 24-29
Lance & I went to the temple last Wednesday morning to do some initiatories. Unaware that the temple now has a 5-initiatory limit, we both agreed to do 10 names. When I found out that I could only do 5, it was too late to contact Lance so I just decided when I was finished to go sit on the couch where we always meet and read my scriptures. I read chapters 24-29 before I finally started to wonder why Lance still hadn't come out. I looked up to see him at the exact opposite end of the room, reading his own scriptures. He had been there the entire time! He came out after his allowed 5 names were complete and checked our couch to see if I was there yet. He then went back and sat in the chair right by the entryway, figuring that I would be sure to see him there. Somehow I missed him and walked right by.

The most interesting part of all of this is that our sister-in-law Michelle came in during that time. She saw Lance and he stood up to give her a big hug and ask how she & Thomas were doing. It didn't seem like a significant thing until she sent Lance a sweet email later on, telling him how much she had needed his hug that morning and to see his love and concern for her & Thomas. So, besides the fact that we were both able to catch up on our scripture reading that morning, it was no coincidence that we were only able to do 5 names and that I walked right by Lance, leaving him there to see Michelle when Heavenly Father knew that she needed it. Tender mercies...

Chapter 30
This chapter talks about how when the Jews finally believe in Christ, they will "be a pure and a delightsome people". I've never really thought about why that would actually happen? I believe that it is simply the fact that when we believe in Christ, we seek to follow Him. When we follow Him, we become more like Him. When we become like Christ, then we are pure and delightsome.

2 Nephi 23

One of the interesting things in this chapter is the mourning that occurred when Lucifer, son of the morning, fell and became Satan. He was our brother and his fall had to have been painful for us to bear, especially if that was the first time we had experienced or seen rebellion against the Father.

His pride and lust for glory and power were the key to his undoing. The ironic thing is that when we seek only to glorify the Father, we will have far more happiness and even power and glory of our own than we could possibly imagine. The key is not to seek after our own. We must seek only to glorify the Father and that is where true happiness lies. Not in the emptiness that is found in the glory of the world.

Family: The Sweetest Union for Tme and for Eternity - Parents

The Prophet Joseph Smith wrote that he esteemed "it one of the greatest earthly blessings to be blessed with the society of parents, whose mature years and experience render them capable of administering the most wholesome advice."

Exodus 20:12 Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

So, I am a mother now myself. What is the role that my parents play in my life? I'm sure that the Lord did not mean for the honoring of our parents to be limited to our time in their home, our growing up years.

First, I should never, ever speak ill of my parents. I should never laugh at either of their expense. I should only speak respectfully of them. I should continue to seek their counsel and advice.

All of this applies to my relationship with Lance's parents as well for I really do feel that they are my parents, too.

Joseph concluded, "When we reflect with what care, and with what unremitting diligence our parents have striven to watch over us, and how many hours of sorrow and anxiety they have spent, over our cradles and bed-sides, in times of sickness, how careful we ought to be of their feelings in their old age! It cannot be a source of sweet reflection to us, to say or do anything that will bring their gray hairs down with sorrow to the grave."

What a beautiful thought! My mom & dad have invested so much of their lives to my well-being, happiness, and progression. My debt of gratitude is immeasurable and wholly unpayable.

Family: The Sweetest Union for Tme and for Eternity - Marriage

Yesterday I volunteered to substitute for Sandee's primary class this Sunday. So I spent my scripture study time preparing the lesson. Today I get to read more in the Joseph Smith manual.

I am still pondering on the subject of loving my children. It doesn't sound right when I say it that way. I LOVE my children more than I ever thought I was capable of loving anything. I just need help in expressing that love and allowing my love for them to overcome and overshadow any frustration or anger I feel toward them. My love for them needs to be the primary feeling that they feel from me.

I went to this chapter for parenting inspiration but it begins with some excellent doctrine on the marriage relationship.

I am designed by Heavenly Father, for Lance, to be:
-a help to him (both temporally and spiritually)
-one into whose bosom he can pour all his complaints without reserve
-willing to take part of his burden
-soothing and encouraging of his feelings by my "gentle voice"

Joseph Smith counseled me as a wife to:

-not be teasing [poking fun at] Lance because of his deeds
-let the weight of my innocence, kindness and affection be felt, which is more mighty than a millstone hung about the neck
-not [use] war, not jangle [quarreling], not contradiction, or dispute, but meekness, love, purity

"When a man is borne down with trouble, when he is perplexed with care and difficulty, if he can meet a smile instead of an argument or a murmur-if he can meet with mildness, it will calm down his soul and soothe his feelings; when the mind is going to despair, it needs a solace of affection and kindness.... When you go home, never give a cross or unkind word to your husbands, but let kindness, charity and love crown your works henceforward."

Eliza R. Snow reported: "[The Prophet Joseph Smith] exhorted the sisters always to concentrate their faith and prayers for, and place confidence in their husbands, whom God has appointed for them to honor."

When I was 16 years old, I desired to get my patriarchal blessing. The number one concern I had was regarding my future spouse and eternal marriage. I had already seen so many unhappy and failed marriages in my short life up to that point that I desperately wanted to know what I needed to do to have a happy marriage. I fasted and prayed intensely that I might receive a specific answer in my blessing. When I got my blessing it was the sweetest, most powerfully spiritual experience I had ever had. I especially rejoiced in the beautiful promises and personal revelation I received regarding my husband. However, I distinctly remember leaving my blessing and briefly thinking that I hadn't really received any actual, working counsel about how to have a happy marriage. When I got the copy of my blessing in the mail, I read through it immediately and one single line popped out at me. It said, "And the Lord would have you know that all the days of your life you shall be honored and respected by he whom you shall honor." I felt a confirmation right then that this was the answer that I had asked Heavenly Father for. I needed to honor my husband. Beautifully simple and powerfully true.

Charity, the Pure Love of Christ, Part 2

I finished the chapter on charity today and I am filled with gladness and the sweet joy of the Spirit as I read of the Prophet Joseph's endless kind deeds and cheerful, loving manner. One thing that really stood out to me was a story that one brother told of playing ball with Joseph. When they were finished playing ball, Joseph told them all to get their wagons and they went to gather wood. Once the wagons were full, Joseph played stick pull with anybody who wanted to compete with him. After that, they completed their task by delivering the wood to those that needed it and cutting the wood for those that couldn't do it for themselves.

One of the great lessons herein pertains to my role as a mother. Joseph stopped and played with the brethren in between working. There are soooo many tasks that need to be accomplished in a day's time and I find myself regularly frustrated and stressed out as I attempt to check everything off my list and control my children's completion of their tasks. How often do I just stop and play with them??? Life is not meant to be simply endured but enjoyed. I need to find ways to incorporate more play time with them. First, that will lighten the mood in our home and make it a more enjoyable place. Second, it will enhance my children's desire to listen to me because they will feel more affectionately toward me as we play together. Also, I will feel more affectionately toward them as I spend fun, quality time with them.

My goal for today: play with my kids!

Charity, the Pure Love of Christ

Today, I need to feel the love of the Lord for me and study more about showing love to my children. I selected Chapter 27 in the Joseph Smith manual, Charity, the Pure Love of Christ.

"Men or women [can] not be compelled into the kingdom of God, but must be dealt with in long-suffering, and at last we shall save them... Mercy should go hand in hand with reproof."

I must, must, must learn to deal with my children in long-suffering instead of demanding and compelling them to behave, act, etc. I need to always be merciful and not punitive with them, showing an increase of love after a reproof- which should always be done in private.

2 Nephi 22

What a beautiful day when the Millenium is finally here! Isaiah prophesis that all men will praise the Lord. This will mean that everyone will know and recognize Him as their Redeemer.

2 Nephi 21

Isaiah prophesies about the Millenium. Everyone will know about Christ. What an exciting time that will be. There will be no disputation about whether or not there is a Christ. There will be simply obedience or open rebellion- nothing in between.

We're actually reading in 2 Nephi as a family right now as well and we just had a discussion about the Millenium with the kids last week. Last night Nathanael came into my bedroom and told me that Frosty (our adopted cat) had caught another mouse outside. He was pretty distraught because he said it was tiny and so cute. Lance told him not to be upset- that's how Frosty was made- to hunt. Nathanael protested, "But it really was tiny and so cute! I can't wait for the Millenium and then there won't be any more killing of animals at all." I laughed and agreed with him. But then another thought occurred to me, "You realize that means you won't be eating any more steak either, right?" His eyes got huge and he thought hard for a second. Then he said, "Well, I better eat as much steak as I can before then!"

2 Nephi 20

Isaiah prophesies that the destruction of Assyria is a type of destruction of the wicked at the Second Coming. I wonder if this means that the wicked will be destroyed through the actions of another nation, warring against them.

15 Shall the ax boast itself against him that heweth therewith? Shall the saw magnify itself against him that shaketh it? As if the rod should shake itself against them that lift it up, or as if the staff should lift up itself as if it were no wood!

What a poignant analogy. It is absurd how man takes glory in his actions when everything we have- even our own abilities were given us by our Heavenly Father. Everything we do should be to give glory to the Father- not take glory on ourselves. Without God we are nothing.

Things as They Really Are 3

(Satan's Attacks, continued)

a. Minimize the Importance of our Bodies – Virtual Reality
i. Jeopardize our physical well-being for an adrenaline rush
· “Putting at risk the very instrument God has given us to receive the learning experiences of mortality-merely to pursue a thrill or some supposed fun, to bolster ego, or to gain acceptance-truly minimizes the importance of our physical bodies.”
ii. Fidelity- the similarity between reality and a representation of reality
· High fidelity + Bad Purposes = Spiritual Danger
· “Today I raise an apostolic voice of warning about the potentially stifling, suffocating, suppressing, and constraining impact of some kinds of cyberspace interactions and experiences upon our souls.”
iii. Temptation to disconnect gradually & physically from things as they really are
· Essentially- thinking & acting as if we were in our premortal, unembodied state
· Miss the richness of person-to-person communication
· Innocent entertainment becomes enslavement
· This is how we become “past feeling”
· We should not squander and damage authentic relationships by obsessing over contrived ones
b. Anonymity
i. “Apostasy is not anonymous simply because it occurs in a blog or through a fabricated identity in a chat room or virtual world. Immoral thoughts, words, and deeds always are immoral, even in cyberspace.”
c. Two Questions:
i. Does the use of various technologies and media invite or impede the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost in your life?
ii. Does the time you spend using various technologies and media enlarge or restrict your capacity to live, to love, and to serve in meaningful ways?
2) The Rising Generation
a. “God has reserved spirits for this dispensation who have the courage and determination to face the world, and all the powers of the evil one, visible and invisible, to proclaim the Gospel, and maintain the truth, and establish and build up the Zion of our God, fearless of all consequences. He has sent these spirits in this generation to lay the foundation of Zion never more to be overthrown, and to raise up a seed that will be righteous, and that will honor God, and honor him supremely, and be obedient to him under all circumstances.”
b. Obedience-
i. 1997- “The youth of this generation have a greater capacity for obedience than any previous generation.” -Maxwell
ii. the primary weapon against evil
iii. opens door to constant companionship of the Holy Ghost
· spiritual gifts and abilities
· enable us to:
a. avoid deception
b. see, feel, know, understand, & remember things as they really are

“To be ‘encircled about eternally in the arms of his love’ will be a real and not a virtual experience.”

Things as They Really Are 2

1) The Adversary’s Attacks:
a. Misuse of our Physical Bodies
i. Violating chastity, drugs/addictive substances, disfiguring/defacing body, worshipping false idol of body image (own or someone else’s)
ii. “Any defiling of the body is rebellion and a denial of our true identity as sons and daughters of God.”
iii. We must study & learn for ourselves:
1. what we should & shouldn’t do with our bodies
2. the doctrinal reasons why/why not
3. spiritual enlightenment & protection will follow
4. “According to your faithfulness & diligence, you will have the power to discern the deception and repel the attacks of the adversary as he tempts you to misuse your physical body.”

Mosiah 2:36-37

36 And now, I say unto you, my brethren, that after ye have known and have been taught all these things, if ye should transgress and go contrary to that which has been spoken, that ye do withdraw yourselves from the Spirit of the Lord, that it may have no place in you to guide you in wisdom's paths that ye may be blessed, prospered, and preserved-
37 I say unto you, that the man that doeth this, the same cometh out in open rebellion against God; therefore he listeth to obey the evil spirit, and becometh an enemy to all righteousness; therefore, the Lord has no place in him, for he dwelleth not in unholy temples.

Once we have knowledge of right and wrong, once we have been taught a higher law, if we decide to act contrary to that knowledge, we are openly rebelling against Heavenly Father and the Spirit will withdraw. Some of the benefits of the Holy Ghost's companionship are noted here- guidance in wisdom's paths, blessings, prosperity, and preservation. When I look at it in this light, it seems ludicrous that I would ever choose to act against the Spirit and lose the blessings of its guidance. So, not only are we acting against the Spirit, we are openly rebelling against Heavenly Father AND we are choosing to follow Satan. Why??? Why would we ever choose misery over happiness? I don't think most people look at it like this- so black and white. Satan must use sly tactics, lies, and deception to ensnare us. When I think of "becoming an enemy to all righteousness" so that "the Lord has no place in [me]", I can barely stand the thought. I yearn for the day that I will see the Savior again; that I will be able to sit at Heavenly Father's feet and feel the familiar, loving embrace of Heavenly Mother. To not be with Them, to not be with my own eternal family, to not have Lance for eternity would be eternal hell indeed.

Things as They Really Are

This coming weekend is Ballantyne Girls Weekend and I have been assigned to lead a discussion on Elder Bednar's talk, "Things as They Really Are." It is based upon...

D&C 93:24
"The Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested unto us plainly, for the salvation of our souls."

Elder Bednar addresses "things as they really are" in three key points:
1) Key elements of our Heavenly Father's plan of happiness as the doctrinal foundation for knowing and understanding things as they really are.
2) Methods of attack used by the adversary to distract us from or inhibit our capacity to discern things as they really are.
3) The responsibilities that rest upon us to be obedient, to honor sacred covenants, and to discern things consistently as they really are in today's world that grows ever more confused and wicked.

1) Key elements of the Plan of Happiness - Obtaining a Physical Body
a. “Our physical bodies make possible a breadth, a depth, and an intensity of experience that simply could not be obtained in our premortal estate”.
i. tenderness, love, kindness, happiness, sorrow, disappointment, pain, & even physical limitations prepare us for eternity
ii. Spirit + Body = Soul
b. The Devil…
i. his Punishment- no body
ii. wants power over a physical body (prefers pig’s body to none)
iii. Anyone with a physical body has power over those who don’t have a body
1. Devil only has power that we give him
iv. wants all to be miserable like he is
1. can’t marry, procreate
2. won’t participate in the resurrection
c. A physical body is central to the Plan & our spiritual development
i. Satan wants to frustrate our progression
ii. He tempts us to use our bodies improperly
d. The ultimate irony:
i. The adversary is miserable because he has no body
ii. He invites us to share in his misery through the improper use of our bodies.
iii. “The very tool he does not have and cannot use is the primary target of his attempts to lure us to physical and spiritual destruction.”

Personal Purity through Self-Discipline - Language

This week I am teaching Personal Purity through Self-Discipline to my Young Women class so I thought I'd spend a few of my scriptures studies on it.

James 3:2-13
2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.


Elder Holland gave an unbelievably powerful talk in Conference a couple of years ago called, "The Tongue of Angels". He uses this scripture passage as the basis for his talk. How marvelous to be able to control our tongue to the point of not offending, and therefore, being perfect. James says that if we are able to control our tongue, we will be able to bridle our whole body. This is most certainly an area that I need work in. When I am angry, words come out of my mouth like fire. When I'm hurt, I throw out daggers to retaliate. When I am frustrated or stressed, I often yell. I need to concentrate on bridling my tongue and the rest of it should fall into place.

3 Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.
4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.
5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things...

Our words really have such an enormous impact on those around us- especially those we love. The imagery here of the small, and seemingly insignificant part being such a key regulator is the perfect description of the power of our tongue- the power that our words have.

...Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

People have left the church over something as insignificant as a few offensive words. Wars have been waged over poorly chosen words. When we allow our tongue to control us instead of us controlling our tongue, we allow the natural man to take over and lead us down a path we would never consciously choose.

7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind:
8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

As humans, we are capable of many great and marvelous works. We can tame animals to do our bidding and yet we have such a difficult time taming our own tongue. It takes a great deal of self-discipline.

9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God.
10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.
11 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?
12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.
13 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.

I love how James points out that with our mouth we praise Heavenly Father. But out of the very same mouth we curse, or defile our brother, who is the son of God, made by His hands. We are either godly or we are not. We can't be both.

2 Nephi 19

12 ...For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still.

I marvel at the Lord's love and patience for His children. No matter how hard our hearts become or how many times we hurt Him and turn our backs on Him, He will still reach out to us. There is a qualifier here: His anger is not turned away. So the Lord will be angry with us. He will reprimand us and provide the necessary consequences for our sins. Consequences, especially hard ones, are how we learn and grow from our mistakes. Yet, He will never stop loving us. I love the image that this verse invokes- the Lord with His mighty arm, stretched lovingly and patiently out to His wayward children, to me. There are two very important lessons for me here. First, that I should never give up on myself or get down on myself for how weak I am. No matter how many times I fall, I must continue to get back up and try again to be better the next time. For the Lord will never give up on me. Second, I must follow this same pattern with my own children. No matter how many mistakes they make, I must continue to patiently reach out to them and love them. It is okay for me to be angry with them. It is natural and a normal reaction to poor behavior. However, even in my anger, I must reach out to them. I must not allow my angry feelings over what they have done to influence my actions toward them and how I feel about them. I must show them the same consideration, patience, and love that Heavenly Father extends to me.

2 Nephi 18

The Lord tells the people that He has tried over and over again to guide them and warn them with the gentle promptings of the Spirit. However, they have not listened and so He must use more forceful means to get their attention, to humble them, and to teach them.

How much like the people of Israel am I! When times are easy and the Spirit whispers to me in my laziness, I am slow to respond. When times are hard, I turn quickly and readily to the Lord for help.

2 Nephi 17

Chapter 17 tells of how Judah was in danger from two conspiring enemies: Ephraim & Syria. When Ahaz gets wind of their joint plan to attack his kingdom, he is worried and gathers together his armies and takes them to the main source of water to guard it and prepare for battle. The Lord tells Isaiah to go to this place of water and counsel with Ahaz not to go to battle against Syria and Ephraim. Isaiah tells Ahaz that these enemies will not prevail against him, that they have no firepower left, and not to worry but to trust in the Lord. I can imagine that must have been hard to back down like that. We sometimes feel it is easier to rely upon the arm of flesh rather than upon the Lord. There is great irony in this kind of thinking. While the initial leap of faith is sometimes a bit difficult to some, the resulting blessings are incomparable to the struggles that will always eventually emerge as we rely upon man instead of the Lord. Without the Lord's help, we are left to struggle on our own, relying upon our minuscule strength that can never sustain us through to the end. I'll take the Lord's help thank you very much!

2 Nephi 16

More Isaiah! I try so hard not to get discouraged when reading Isaiah and I hate to even admit how quickly I try to get through 2 Nephi. It's just so difficult to understand most of what he's saying, or at least to apply it to my life. In this chapter, Isaiah talks of how he is forgiven of his sins. He uses the imagery of the seraphim placing a burning coal from the altar on his mouth. The Lord then speaks, asking, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then I said: Here am I; send me." The Lord then sends him forth to preach and to prophesy. I believe this is his actual calling from the Lord to be a prophet. I guess that is a pretty powerful visual- a burning coal to purify our sins. The powerful imagery of a burning coal evokes strong emotion, which is what happens when we are forgiven of our sins. Strong emotions encompass me when I feel forgiven and made clean again- gratitude, love, joy, the burning in my bosom of the Holy Ghost.

2 Nephi 15

20 Wo unto them that call evil good, and good evil, that put darkness for light, and light for darkness, that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!

It is amazing how often this happens in the world. Right now, one of the big issues is gay marriage. We vote against gay marriage and the world attacks us as bigots, calling us intolerant and self-righteous ignorants. One of Satan's great tactics is just this- call good evil and evil good. Very tricky!

21 Wo unto the wise in their own eyes and prudent in their own sight!

There are several warnings in the scriptures to those that are learned, or intelligent. The tendency for those that acquire great secular knowledge is to begin to feel that they are wise enough to dictate their own lives and begin to even feel that they are independent of God. No matter how much I learn, I continually feel that there is an unthinkable amount of knowledge out there still waiting for me. It will take me an eternity to learn it all. Perhaps that is the plan!

2 Nephi 14

Isaiah is difficult to read because he speaks so much of things related to his day. He is very poetic in his writing and prophecies which makes it harder to decipher what he is talking about. He usually talks about our day and he usually talks about the Second Coming of Christ. Given those two clues, I try to understand what he is speaking of. In this chapter, he talks about the daughters of Zion being washed clean. He also speaks of how the Lord will always be our guide and protector as we follow Him. What a comforting thought! I long to be more fully aware of the Lord's hand in my life, guiding me and protecting me in my daily struggle to become more like Him.

2 Nephi 13

24 And it shall come to pass, instead of sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle, a rent; and instead of well set heair, baldness; and instead of a stomacher, a girding of sackcloth; burning instead of beauty.

Nephi is quoting Isaiah in Chapter 13. Here he is talking about the daughters of Zion and how they will be cursed and tormented for their worldliness. This prophecy has always hit home because I know I am far too worldly and vain. As I said yesterday, I love clothes, fine foods, a nice house and car. I really do enjoy those things and I know I put more vanity into my looks than I should. So it pains me to envision all of these horrible prophecies- burning instead of beauty??? What a horrible visual. So, how do I avoid that punishment? Perhaps I really need to put more priority into looking outward instead of in the mirror. I need to focus more on serving others and never judging others based upon their outward appearance. As I pray for and seek the gift of charity, I hope to someday be able to view everyone with Heavenly Father's eyes- to see their inner beauty without taking any note of the outward.

2 Nephi 12

4 And he shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people: and they shall beat their swords into plow-shares, and their spears into pruning-hooks - nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.

I am so afraid of all of the prophesied destruction that will accompany the Second Coming but imagining the scenario just described stirs such a longing in my soul. A time where there is no war, no weapons, only peace. What could be more glorious than that? The Lord will reign on the earth in all of His perfect glory and Satan will be bound. I cannot imagine a sweeter way to live.

17 And the loftiness of man shall be bowed down, and the haughtiness of men shall be made low; and the Lord alone shall be exalted in that day.

Unfortunately, I am a very prideful person in many ways. I love clothes, beautiful homes and nice cars, fine food, exotic vacations. I really, truly enjoy those things! But as I mature, I am finding more and more that, although those things are indisputably enjoyable, they do not provide true happiness. True happiness can only be found in the humble heart, when one is willing to submit to the Lord's will and serve Him all the days of one's life. Slowly, but surely, I will one day be rid of the pride that so easily distracts me from true fulfillment and happiness. The world will experience the same humbling. Unfortunately for them, it will be forced upon them because they have not done so voluntarily. In the end, the Lord will be exalted as the pride of the world bows to His perfect feet.

20 In that day a man shall cast his idols of silver, and his idols of gold, which he hath made for himself to worship, to the moles and to the bats.

It will be a rude awakening for any of us who have allowed our riches and worldy idols to take precedence over spiritual things and our eternal progression. The things we thought were of so much worth, the things that we put so much priority on, will be worth nothing and we will toss them aside "to the moles and to the bats" when we finally realize it. Money, power, worldy honor and glory mean nothing- they cannot and will not ever satisfy. Service in the Lord's church, our eternal families and friends- those are the things that have real eternal value.

2 Nephi 11

2 And now I, Nephi, write more of the words of Isaiah, for my soul delighteth in his words. For I will liken his words unto my people, and I will send them forth unto all my children, for he verily saw my Redeemer, even as I have seen him.
3 And my brother, Jacob, also has seen him as I have seen him...

Isaiah, Nephi, and Jacob all saw Christ! What an incomprehensible blessing to be able to see the Savior in the flesh. Someone very close to me was told in their patriarchal blessing that they would see the Savior in this life. I was astounded when I heard that. I've always wondered if the prophets all get to see Him. I always assumed so but Lance isn't so sure and has since made me wonder. Your faith would have to be so pure, so unwavering, so strong- just as the Brother of Jared's.

6 And my soul delighteth in proving unto my people that save Christ should come all men must perish.
7 For if there be no Christ there be no God; and if there be no God we are not, for there could have been no creation. But there is a God, and he is Christ, and he cometh in the fulness of his own time.

Nephi's logic here is profound. One must have a testimony of each of the elements of which he speaks in order to follow his reasoning.

• First, if there is no Christ, then there is no God. Why is that? Why must there be a Christ in order for God to exist? Is it because a perfect being who fathers spirit children must, due to His compassionate nature, provide the means whereby His imperfect children could return to Him and not be cut off forever due to the carnal nature of their flesh? I believe that.
• Second, if there is no God, then we do not exist, for there could have been no creation. That one makes perfect sense. I am studying Nutrition for my bachelor's degree. After all of the anatomy, physiology, biochemistry, and nutrition classes I have taken, I couldn't possibly begin to imagine that our profoundly complex bodies were a result of some accident or spontaneous evolution. It seems more likely that an uneducated person, one that is so ignorant of the true miracle of the human body, would be more likely to believe in evolution or the Big Bang Theory. In fact, it is simply ironic that the more educated one becomes, the more likely it actually is that one ceases to believe in the Creator. The thought makes reason stare.

Nephi concludes with a matter-of-fact statement that there is a God and that He is Christ, and that He will come to the earth. Christ did come just as Nephi prophesied and I know that He will come again, as prophets for ages have prophesied. I would love to be able to see Him in this life but I know I will see Him in the next life and I rejoice in that knowledge.

2 Nephi 10:23-24

23: Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves-to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life.

Jacob is an optimist. He tells us to cheer up our hearts, or to be happy, because we are free to act for ourselves. We have the freedom to choose whether we will find spiritual death or eternal life at the end of mortality. Neither one will be forced upon us. I love that! My destiny is in my hands. I do not have to fear Satan. He has no power over me but what I give to him. So as long as I cling to the iron rod and continually mend my crooked ways, constantly bringing my life back into alignment with God's will, I will be certain to have eternal life as my reward at the end of this mortal existence. I am not a victim of an arbitrary assignment or an unconquerable force. I am free to act for myself and I will choose the Lord.

24: Wherefore, my beloved brethren, reconcile yourselves to the will of God, and not to the will of the devil and the flesh; and remember, after ye are reconciled unto God, that it is only in and through the grace of God that ye are saved.

reconcile (Webster):
1 a : to restore to friendship or harmony; b : settle, resolve; 2 : to make consistent or congruous

Our lives, actions, and own will should be in harmony with the will of God. I can determine if my will is reconciled to the will of God or Satan (and my flesh) be examining my actions. If my actions are in harmony with the teachings of the gospel, then my will must be in harmony with the Lord's will. If my actions are not in harmony with the teachings of the gospel, I must quickly repent and renew my commitment, reconciling myself to the will of God. I like how Jacob ends on the reminder that even after we have worked to reconcile ourselves to God, it is still only through the grace of God that we are saved. It takes a lot of work, diligence, and sometimes suffering to reconcile ourselves to God. We cannot allow that to make us prideful. We must always maintain humility, recognizing that no matter how strong we are (or think we are), we would never be able to be saved without God's grace. We would always fall short.

2 Nephi 6

6:17 For thus saith the Lord: I will contend with them that contendeth with thee...

The Lord is on our side. When we follow him, we are enlisting His help in our own personal war against Satan- the prize for victory being our very soul.

The Time is Far Spent (Hymn):

Be fixed in your purpose, for Satan will try you;
The weight of your calling he perfectly knows.
Your path may be thorny, but Jesus is nigh you:
His arm is sufficient, tho demons oppose.

I read this passage in a conference talk this morning and it really touched me. There is no question- Satan will try us. No one is safe from his buffetings- no one. I kind of always thought that really righteous people- stake presidents, apostles, bishops, relief society presidents, etc., were somehow immune to temptation. It seemed to me that Satan didn't even try to get to them because of who they were. Sadly, I have seen from real-life situations, people I know, that is not the case. Satan has unlimited time on his hands and he would love nothing more than to see those in leadership positions fall because of the devastating ripple-affects it would have on everyone around them. Therefore, he works that much harder on the righteous, the strong. He doesn't have to do much to make someone who is weak fall. "The weight of your calling he perfectly knows." He is very intelligent and skillfully cunning. Yet, we have the Lord's promise that He will contend with those that contend with us. Satan is one that fights with our righteous desires and actions. As we obey the Lord, He will help us fight our battles against evil. "His arm is sufficient, tho demons oppose." No matter what Satan can throw our way, Christ is stronger, and His grace sufficient to save us.

2 Nephi 5

31 Wherefore, I, Nephi, to be obedient to the commandments of the Lord, went and made these plates upon which I have engraven these things.
32 And I engraved that which is pleasing unto God. And if my people are pleased with the things of God they will be pleased with mine engravings which are upon these plates.

Nephi describes how he has been keeping a record of his people and then the Lord tells him to go and make new plates to engrave things that are pleasing unto Him. He frankly states that he did just that- went and made new plates "to be obedient to the commandments of the Lord". I wonder if he felt for a moment that the Lord was not accepting of his offering- his first record, that it wasn't good enough. I know that I am far too sensitive and too easily offended. Not necessarily when it comes to spiritual things but from other people. So I just wonder. I know I need to not be so sensitive and easily offended. I need to be humble.

I love how he said that if his people are pleased with the things of God then they will be pleased with the words he has written in the Book of Mormon. I guess that is a good test for all of us. Are the scriptures (the things of God) pleasing unto us? I know that when I am earnestly seeking the Spirit in the scriptures, I really do delight in them. The more consistent I am, the more I feel the spirit more fully in my life.

2 Nephi 4

2 Nephi 4 is sometimes called Nephi's psalm because it is so poetically written and Nephi is so passionate and emotional. He describes how wretched he feels about his weaknesses and sins. Then he describes all of the reasons he has to rejoice- for all of the blessings he has been given. Next, he pulls himself up by the bootstraps with renewed determination to win the war against Satan for his own soul. "Awake , my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul." Finally, he calls on the Lord for the strength and the aid he will need to endure to the end.

I've mentioned this before but I absolutely love this chapter because I relate so well to it. It is powerfully comforting to me that a prophet of God shares the same view of his own personal weaknesses. He gets discouraged and can't understand why he can be so weak at times when he has such great desires to do what is right and he has been given so many blessings. If a prophet feels to sorrow over his weaknesses, then I know it is only normal for me to do it. Of course, I'm certain that his sins aren't even remotely in the same ballpark as mine but he feels pain for the separation from the Spirit due to his sins just as I feel it. For any sin, no matter how small or large causes the Spirit to shrink from us in some degree. Of course, serious sins have greater repercussions. Yet as we get closer to the spirit and become more edified, we are more keenly aware of offending it. So now I call on my soul to awake and arise, no longer drooping in sin! I know that the Lord can and will help me; that with his help I can do all things. With the Lord's help, I can and I will overcome this world and qualify for one that is far better.

2 Nephi 4:15-16

And upon these I write the things of my soul, and many of the scriptures which are engraven upon the plates of brass. For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and the profit of my children. Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.

I just love how Nephi says that his "soul delighteth in the scriptures... and in the things of the Lord." It reminds me of the hymn, "More Holiness Give Me". I feel that constant yearning, that upward pull to be better, to do better. I love the Lord with all of my heart and desire so strongly to be more like Him. I truly do delight in the things of the Lord. My problem is that I am so weak in so many areas that my weaknesses get in the way of my progression and eternal growth. I do have hope that I will get better as I see myself slowly change over the years. It is a long, grueling process and not nearly as quick as I'd like it to be be. But I am hopeful that someday I will be like Him, even if it takes a millenia.

2 Nephi 2:28-29

And now, my sons, I would that ye should look to the great Mediator, and hearken unto his great commandments; and be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit; And not choose eternal death, according to the will of the flesh and the evil which is therein, which giveth the spirit of the devil power to captivate, to bring you down to hell, that he may reign over you in his own kingdom.

Choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit.
When you look at the simplicity of the plan, you can see that it really is as simple as that: choice! We literally have the choice to do good or do evil- it's totally up to us. Then why do we ever choose evil??? The next part gives a little insight into that question.

And not choose eternal death, according to the will of the flesh and the evil which is therein.
The part that is interesting is how this is phrased: "according the will of the flesh and the evil which is therein." So our bodies, being carnal in nature, really do desire evil, by their very nature. The desires of our flesh are inherently evil. But we have the choice. Our spirits can be strong and overcome the desires of our flesh or succumb to them- again, all up to us. Perhaps that is one of the big differences in our resurrected celestial bodies- they will no longer be lustful, lazy, subject to illness, etc.

Which [flesh] giveth the spirit of the devil power to captivate, to bring you down to hell, that he may reign over you in his own kingdom.
Addictions are a powerful captivator of our agency. When we do things that cause us to become addicted, we lose the power to choose. Satan then has us captive and can drag us down to hell, where he will force us to be his subjects in his awful kingdom.

2 Nephi 2:27

Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.

There are several key points in this passage which intrigued me:

Men are free according to the flesh.
- What does this mean? That having a body is the key ingredient in our free agency? Without our bodies, we would not be free? That makes sense when you think about the spirits that chose to follow Satan. They no longer have the freedom to choose. Without a body, their choices are limited. Hmmm...

All things are given them which are expedient unto man.
- What things are expedient (suitable for achieving a particular end in a given circumstance) for man? A body, a spirit, free agency, temptations for evil, and the enticings of the Spirit all seem like they would be necessary components of a true, valid test for a person. I wonder what else...

They are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men.
- Heavenly Father will not force us to choose good over evil. We have the choice. It would not be a test otherwise. This choice is available to us through the atoning sacrifice of the Savior. Since we all sin, and are unworthy to return to the Father of our own accord, the great Mediator of all men makes it possible for us to decide whether or not we will accept his priceless gift.

Or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil.
-No one forces us to do evil, to make wrong choices, to sin. We make that choice all of our own accord. Satan was given the power to bind us when we choose evil and take us captive. The Savior has the power to liberate the captive but only when we fully repent and turn to Him.

For he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.
I believe that one of Satan's greatest lies, as the Father of Lies, is that wickedness will make us happy. The world portrays all of its vices as pleasurable, enticing, fun, satisfying, fulfilling, etc. When, in reality, all the world has to offer in the end is discontent, loneliness, and misery. And that is what Lucifer wants. He is a miserable, wretched being that seeks only to have company in his misery. It is amazing how clear his tactics become when we see them through spiritual eyes for what they really are. It's a lot easier to say no to temptations when we view them for what they really are and from whom they really come. Lust, money, power, glory- all are simply trappings that will drag us down to hell.

2 Nephi 2:25

"Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy."

I am reading in 2 Nephi right now and came across this profound scripture that is so often quoted in the church. Often I feel like we talk so much of the trials and tribulations that are required in this life for us to make it back to the Father. It feels that we forget that the entire purpose for our existence is happiness.

Merriam-Webster (Joy):
1 a: the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires : delight; b: the expression or exhibition of such emotion : gaiety; 2: a state of happiness or felicity : bliss; 3: a source or cause of delight

The footnote in the scriptures refers to "Man, Potential to Become Like Heavenly Father". So is it simply the knowledge of our godly potential that gives us joy? Or is it perhaps that when we become like Heavenly Father, then we will find joy? Does that mean that we cannot have true joy until we are perfect? It is probably a little bit of both. Surely this life is not meant to be all hardship and suffering. The plan of happiness cannot mean that happiness is only to be found at the end of the journey, like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. On the other hand, my own imperfections, my weaknesses, my constant failings and shortcomings, are all sources of unhappiness and hardship in my life. I feel to bemoan my weak flesh just as Nephi did.

2 Nephi 4:17-19
"O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted."

I find immense comfort in the fact that Nephi, a valiant servant of the Lord, a prophet of God, could speak so passionately about the sorrow he experiences as a result of his own weaknesses. I am not so naive to believe that his weaknesses are evenly remotely as numerous as my own. Yet, it is obvious that he is keenly aware of them, just as I am. So it makes perfect sense that when we eventually do become perfect, even as He is, then we will find true joy, everlasting happiness. But in the meantime, I will content myself with the struggle toward perfection and will seek out the joy available to me, a daughter of God, in this earthly life.

Prayer - Part 2

3 Nephi 19:6
And the twelve did teach the multitude; and behold, they did cause that the multitude should kneel down upon the face of the earth, and should pray unto the Father in the name of Jesus.

Kneeling signifies a certain humility when approaching the Father in prayer. I know I always feel more in tune on my knees.

1 Timothy 4:15
Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all.

My world is busy and noisy that I rarely have time to meditate, to ponder upon the things of a spiritual nature. Often, when I am in my car alone, I now turn off the radio and simply talk to Heavenly Father or think of His command, "Be still and know that I am God."

Matthew 6:6
But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

Alma 34:26
But this is not all; ye must pour out your souls in your closets, and your secret places, and in your wilderness.

We have a chair in our closet that Lance sits on to put his shoes on or take them off. It has since become my favorite place to pray when I am in need of a good heart-to-heart with Heavenly Father. I kneel in front of the chair and rest my elbows on it as I clasp my hands together in prayer. It is the quietest, most withdrawn place in our house and I find great comfort in praying there. The "wilderness" in the second scripture evokes an emotional response from me. The wildernesses in my life are the desolate, hard times when I am struggling. It is at those times that it becomes most crucial for me to lean upon the Lord and to 'pour out my soul' to Him. Ironically, it is always in the midst of my trials that I feel closest to my Father in Heaven.

Alma 34:21
Yea, cry unto him against the power of your enemies.

To me, an enemy is anything, or anyone, that would draw me away from Heavenly Father. Besides actual people and Satan himself, my "enemies" come in many different forms, whether it be temptations of pride, contention, laziness, hardship, illness, or financial struggles.

1 Thessalonians 5:17
Pray without ceasing.

It is okay to pray wherever I am. I do not have to be kneeling beside my bed or in my closet in order to offer up a sincere, heartfelt prayer. I often pray in my car or give quick prayers of gratitude in many different places.

Alma 37:37
Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.

I love this counsel and promise. I often think of this scripture when I have collapsed into my bed, completely exhausted at the end of a long day. It gives me the last little bit of strength to pull myself up onto my knees and pray. Each morning, I literally roll out of my bed and down onto my knees at my bedside. I thank Heavenly Father for the night's rest and plead with the Lord to help me accomplish all of the things that day that He would have me to do. Most importantly, I beg the Lord to help me be a good mother.

Prayer - Part 1

D&C 104:79
And it is my will that you shall humble yourselves before me, and obtain this blessing by your diligence and humility and the prayer of faith.

In order to obtain blessings from the Lord we must be 1)humble and 2) diligent and 3) pray in faith.

D&C 19:28
And again, I command thee that thou shalt pray vocally as well as in thy heart; yea, before the world as well as in secret, in public as well as in private.

We offer different prayers for different reasons. When I pray out loud in my closet, I often feel closer to my Father. If I were to only pray in public, it would show the lack of a personal relationship with Heavenly Father. I would most likely be doing it for the praise of the world, to look good in the eyes of others. If I were only to pray in private, it might show a fear of man, what others think of me, more than a fear of the Lord.

1 Thessalonians 5:18
In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

I find it so amazing that Heavenly Father commands us to express gratitude. I'm sure He feels joy when we recognize His hand in our lives, but I'm even more sure that this commandment is more for our benefit than for His. There is a refining, humbling power in gratitude. I also know that whenever I am recognizing, and grateful for, the tender mercies of the Lord in my life, I am happier than when I fail to see His hand in my life.

James 1:5
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

Do we really have the faith that Heavenly Father will give us wisdom when we ask Him for it? I know that the Father answers our prayers for He has answered my prayers so many times and in so many, many ways.

Alma 34:27
Yea, and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your hearts be full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are around you.

I used to feel that I wasn't being reverent or praying properly when I wasn't down on my knees in a quiet place. But I have found that I can connect to Heavenly Father in prayer when I am driving in my car, when I am in a noisy restaurant, when I am in the middle of a test at school. He is there, always waiting and ready to listen.

"Man Down"

I was just reading President Henry B. Eyring's talk from April's General Conference as I worked out on my elliptical. (Yes, I like to strengthen my spirit as I'm strengthening my body. =) ) His talk, "Man Down" was given in the Priesthood session of Conference so I hadn't heard it until now. Obviously, it is directed at the priesthood but its principles are applicable to everybody. It speaks of how we have the responsibility to help each other when a fellow brother (or sister) has or is suffering from spiritual wounds in this ongoing battle between good and evil. It is an excellent talk but the funny thing is that as I felt of the love that we must have for each other, I suddenly had a personal insight into the parable of the vineyard- which isn't even mentioned. As a young girl and even as an adult, I still had a hard time understanding why those that came into the vineyard at the eleventh hour would receive the same pay as those that had been laboring in the vineyard all day. Now I know why! The answer is love. The Lord loves all of us equally and what He cares about is that we end up working in the vineyard at all. He doesn't care how long we've been there- just that we finally humble ourselves sufficiently to submit to the Lord's will and voluntarily become servants of the Lord. I always knew that part, I guess- that we are all His children so He loves us all the same. However, as a person that is hopelessly bound to a quest for fairness, I couldn't understand how that would be "fair" to those that had labored all day. But as I felt of the love that I have for my family and friends, and even those that I don't know, I realized a few things. First, I wouldn't care at all, in fact, I would be overjoyed if someone I loved finally joined me in serving in the vineyard- no matter how long it took. I wouldn't be upset that my brother received the same reward in the end. I would just be so happy that he was there. I love him so much that I would want him to have everything the Lord has in store for him. Second of all, there is no happiness outside of the vineyard. So, in all truth, the situation really is "fair". Those that labor in the vineyard are experiencing joy all along as they serve the Lord. Those that choose to follow the ways of the world are not getting the better deal! I guess I am beginning to really shed the natural man. I remember once upon a time having the feeling that those that are converts have it great- they get to "play" around until in their adulthood they join the church. I had it all wrong! True joy and happiness is found in the service of the Lord. So, although everyone receives the same reward in the end- eternal life- those that have been serving in the vineyard all day will have been experiencing joy all along. On the other hand, those that did not come into the vineyard until the final hour, will have missed out on all of those joyful experiences in exchange for a small amount of "fun" laden with a large amount of heartache- the true "rewards" of the world. What a beautiful insight. I am so grateful to my Father in Heaven and the sweet whisperings of the Spirit that continue to teach and refine my imperfect soul.

1 Nephi 3:31

I read 1 Nephi 3 today and there are many jewels of doctrine in that chapter. Today, the thing that struck me most was the very end. I always thought it was crazy that Laman & Lemuel were afraid of a man that could "command fifty, yea, even he can slay fifty"- especially after they had just seen an angel of God. Fifty??? Heavenly Father certainly has the power to do far greater things than that! But I know that there has to be some application of that in my own life. Where do I fear man more than God. Where do I care more about what my friends or the world thinks than what God thinks? Perhaps in the way I dress, my nice house, my car, my "perfect" children, "perfect" marriage? Am I worried more about my image, what the world sees, than what is inside? Certainly there are times that I am. I know that sometimes I am seeking happiness in the world when I know that God has the power to grant me all the happiness I desire- sustaining, lasting happiness for eternity.

D&C 4:6 (Patience)

"Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, diligence."

*Patience*

Webster:

• 1: the capacity, habit, or fact of being patient
• It is interesting to note that it is not only the capacity, but also the habit of being patient.
• Patient: 1: bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint
• 2: manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain
• This is an area I definitely need work on. I have zero patience when I am under "provocation" and most definitely when I am under "strain".
• 3: not hasty or impetuous
• I am becoming more patient as the years go by. I have seen so many times how my hastiness has resulted in lost time, money, etc. It is better to be patient and do things right the first time, rather than have to fix things later.
• 4: steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity
• 5: able or willing to bear

Patience is a quality I pray for every single day. Every single morning I roll out of my bed and right onto my knees. I pray mightily that I will have patience that day with my children. Often, by the time I have the kids out of bed and I am trying to move them along in their morning routine, I have completely lost all of my patience. There will always be trials, provocation, frustration, and strain. I MUST learn to be patient despite all of these stumbling blocks. I must CHOOSE patience. It is absolutely amazing when I have had the presence of mind in the middle of a strenuous situation with my children to choose patience over frustration. Circumstances may be crazy around us, but we still need to be calm in the midst- just as Jesus was. The storms were raging, tossing the small boat to and fro. The apostles were frightened and yet Jesus slept. What a powerful example of not allowing the circumstances that swirl about us to dictate how we will respond.

D&C 4:6 (Temperance)

"Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, diligence."

*Temperance*

The Topical Guide Scripture References:
(says "see also Self-mastery")

• glutton shall come to poverty
• tarry long at the wine
• full of extortion and excess
• man that striveth for the master is temperate in all things
• meekness, temperance; against such there is no law
• let your moderation be known unto all
• good men... just, holy, temperate
• to knowledge temperance, and to temperance patience
• being temperate in all things
• be diligent and temperate in all things
• be sober, be temperate
• cast away your excess of laughter

Webster

• 1: moderation in action, thought, or feeling : restraint
• 2 a: habitual moderation in the indulgence of the appetites or passions
• b: moderation in or abstinence from the use of alcoholic beverages

We can never become perfect until we have mastered ourselves. Part of mastering oneself is to learn to live moderately. Going to excess in anything, even good things, is wrong. I love how Webster defines it as a "habitual moderation in the indulgence of the appetites or passions". I need to make a habit of self-restraint in all areas of my life: anger, frustration, eating, exercising, sleeping, etc. By doing so, I will be able to better control my appetites and passions. It's like getting in shape. The more you exercise a muscle, the stronger it becomes and the easier it is to use it. The more you exercise restraint, the stronger your self-control becomes and the easier it is to abstain from indulgence.

D&C 4:6 (Knowledge)

"Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, diligence."

*Knowledge*

(Bible Dictionary)

• One of the attributes of God
• K. of divine and spiritual things is absolutely essential for one's salvation; hence the gospel is to be taught to every soul- "How shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard?" (Rom. 10:14)
• not obtained all at once, even by revelation, but line upon line, precept upon precept (Isa. 28:9-10)
• The scriptures, and also living prophets, are given so that the people might have k. of things of God and "know how to worship, and know what you worship" (D&C 93:19)
• K. is one of the endowments of the Holy Ghost and one of the gifts of the Spirit
• Peter lists k. along with faith, patience, kindness, and virtue as necessary acquisitions for one who would seek for a divine nature
• No one can be saved in ignorance of the gospel
• One progresses only as fast as he gains k.
• Thus, the person who gains k. will have "the advantage in the world to come" (D&C 130:18-19)

(Webster)

• 2 a (1): the fact or condition of knowing something with familiarity gained through experience or association
• (2): acquaintance with or understanding of a science, art, or technique
• b (1): the fact or condition of being aware of something
• (2): the range of one's information or understanding
• c: the circumstance or condition of apprehending truth or fact through reasoning : cognition
• d: the fact or condition of having information or of being learned

I have always looked upon knowledge as a worldly acquisition- not in a bad way, though. I know that we are commanded to seek after knowledge but I always took that to mean that secular learning is important as well as spiritual learning. However, not once in the Bible Dictionary does it reference secular knowledge- only knowledge of "divine and spiritual things" is noted. It is intriguing to think that there is so much more spiritual knowledge available to me. Sometimes I feel like a teenager who thinks they know everything there is to know in this world. Yet, as a mom now, I shake my head, seeing clearly all that teenagers don't know or understand yet. I'm sure Heavenly Father feels the same way when He is looking down on me. He probably shakes his head and lovingly thinks, "Boy does she still have so much more to learn!" I went to the temple this morning with Lance. On the way up the stairs to the veil room, I noticed, not for the first time, the sign above the celestial room door, "The Glory of God is Intelligence". What a beautiful, simple statement posted in the house of learning.

D&C 4:6 (Virtue)

"Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, diligence."

*Virtue*

(Webster) -

• 1 a: conformity to a standard of right : morality;
• b: a particular moral excellence;
• I love that- moral excellence!
• 2 plural : an order of angels — see celestial hierarchy;
• 3: a beneficial quality or power of a thing;
• 4: manly strength or courage : valor;
• 5: a commendable quality or trait : merit;
• 6: a capacity to act : potency;
• 7: chastity especially in a woman
• The Lord delights in the chastity of women.

(Topical Guide - "see also")

• Chastity
• Cleanliness
• Goodness
• Holiness
• Modesty
• Purity
• Sacred

(Scriptures)

• Proverbs 12:4 - a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband
• Proverbs 31:10 - Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
• Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
• Moroni 9:9 - most precious above all things, which is chastity and virtue
• D&C 121:45 - Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distill upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.

D&C 121:45 is one of my very favorite scriptures. My heart swells to imagine that I could stand in the presence of the Father in full confidence. Here He tells me how I can- "let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly". There are so many times right now where I feel so weak and unworthy. I make so many mistakes! I am easily frustrated, angered, provoked, offended, and on and on and on... There isn't a single day where I don't end it on my knees, begging the Lord to forgive me of my trespasses that day. I often fall asleep, replaying the harsh words or impatience or sarcasm I poured out on my children or husband that day. Why is it, when I love them more than anything in this world, that I am often so hurtful and short-tempered with them??? It is often very discouraging but I must put my trust in Heavenly Father- in His promises to me that someday I can be perfect like He is. "Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly..."

D&C 4:5 (Eye Single)

"And faith, hope, charity and love, with an eye single to the glory of God, qualify him for the work."

*An eye single to the glory of God"

Psalms 25:15 - Mine eyes are ever toward the Lord...

Psalms 141:8 - But mine eyes are unto thee, O God the Lord: in thee is my trust;leave not my soul destitute.

Matt. 6:22 - The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single [(JST) to the glory of God], thy whole body shall be full of light.

• single: GR healthy, sincere, without guile. TG Dedication

Morm. 8:15 - For none can have power to bring [the record] to light save it be given him of God; for God wills that it shall be done with an eye single to his glory, or the welfare of the ancient and long dispersed covenant people of the Lord.

Webster (Single):

• 5 a: frank , honest b: exclusively attentive 6: unbroken , undivided

Heavenly Father is asking us to have a sincere, undivided devotion to glorifying Him. We shouldn't allow ourselves to be distracted by the pleasures of the world or seek glory for ourselves. Our lives should be dedicated to bringing glory to God through our righteous actions. I love how Christ says in Matthew that if our eye is single, then our whole body will be full of light. If we are only seeking to glorify God, thereby losing ourselves in His service, ironically, we will be full of the light of Christ. The spirit will be with us. I can't imagine any other way for happiness. True and lasting happiness comes in and only through Jesus Christ.

D&C 4:5 (Love)

"And faith, hope, charity and love, with an eye single to the glory of God, qualify him for the work."


*Love*


(Topical Guide - "see also's")

• Affection
• (Webster) 1: a moderate feeling or emotion; 2: tender attachment : fondness
• Benevolence
• (Webster) 1: disposition to do good; 2 a: an act of kindness, b: a generous gift
• Brotherhood
• (Webster) 2 : fellowship , alliance; 3 : an association (as a labor union or monastic society) for a particular purpose
• Sisterhood
• (Webster) 3: the solidarity of women based on shared conditions, experiences, or concerns
• Charity
• the pure love of Christ, among so many other definitions
• Family, Love within
• Abraham loved Isaac; parents love their children
• Fellowshipping
• (Webster) a company of equals or friends : association
• Friendship
• God, Love of
• It is the love of God that brings us true happiness in this life. If we could but emulate that love, we would be doing well on the path to perfection.
• Grace
• It is through the grace (and/or love) of God that we are all saved.
• Kindness
• We should never be unkind to anybody, especially those that we claim to love.
• Marriage, Continuing Courtship in
• I found it so interesting that the Topical Guide has a section on the continuing courtship in marriage. Obviously, it is not just a popular idea but an important principle.
• Neighbor
• When Christ was asked what the greatest of all the commandments was, he said that it was to love the Lord thy God with all thy heart. He then added quickly, that the second great commandment was to love thy neighbor as thyself. If we really put this into practice the world would be devoid of wars, divorces would be nonexistent, abuse of a spouse or loved one, in any shape or form, would never ever happen.

I often feel painfully inadequate as a mother. I am at a loss for discipline so many times. I don't always have the answers. I'm not sure many times which is the best route to take with my kids. Yet one thing I do know. I love my kids with all of my heart and soul. I guess that means that, despite all of my many shortcomings, I am qualified. :)

D&C 4:5 (Charity, cont'd)

"And faith, hope, charity and love, with an eye single to the glory of God, qualify him for the work."

*Charity*

(Webster)

• 1: benevolent goodwill toward or love of humanity;
• When we have c., we have a general sense of goodwill toward everybody we know, and even those that we don't know- all mankind!
• 2: generosity and helpfulness especially toward the needy or suffering;
• C. entails being generous and helpful to others, especially to those that are poor or in need in other ways (depressed, friendless, etc).
• 3: lenient judgment of others
• This is one of my favorite definitions by Webster. When we are charitable, when we truly love others, we do not seek to pass critical judgement upon them. We seek only to help them and show kindness to them. There are times when judgement is necessary on our parts. However, we should never ever forget that judgement should always be done in love. We should also never forget the Savior's warning that the judgement with which we judge others will be the same standard of judgement by which we will be judged in the end.

D&C 4:5 (Charity)

"And faith, hope, charity and love, with an eye single to the glory of God, qualify him for the work."

*Charity*

(Bible Dictionary)

The highest, noblest, strongest kind of love, not merely affection; the pure love of Christ. It is never used to denote alms or deeds or benevolence, although it may be a prompting motive.

• 1 Cor. 8:1 -Knowledge puffeth up, but c. edifieth.
• 1 Cor. 13:1-3 - Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not c., I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling crystal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not c., I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned,m and have not c., it profiteth me nothing.
• 1 Cor. 13:13 - And now abideth fiath, hope, c., these three; but the greatest of these is c.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (Characteristics of Charity)

• suffereth long
• is kind
• envieth not
• vaunteth not itself; is not puffed up
• doth not behave itself unseemly
• seeketh not her own
• is not easily provoked
• thinketh no evil
• rejoiceth not in iniquity
• rejoiceth in truth
• beareth all things
• believeth all things
• hopeth all things
• endureth all things
• never faileth

It is easy to get a little overwhelmed for a self-proclaimed perfectionist like myself when I look at all of the descriptions of charity. Yet, instead of throwing up my hands in futility, I am choosing to instead be humble and recognize that with the Lord, I can do all things. I have so many weaknesses and shortcomings. I too often find fault with others. I gossip at times. I am easily offended, easily provoked. Sometimes I envy; sometimes I am prideful. However, I do have a few redeeming qualities as well. I feel like I am kind. I do not rejoice in iniquity and truth causes my heart to soar. I bear and suffer much, endure much, believe all things, and have hope in all things. My thoughts are not generally evil either. :) Seeketh not her own... that is a tricky one. As a mother, by the very nature of that calling, I spend the majority of my day in selfless tasks. Yet there are times when I most definitely seek "my own"- whether it be time to myself, my way of doing things, or picking what I want to do. I need to give even more fully of myself, mentally and emotionally- not just my time. I will pray for charity in every prayer this week.

D&C 4:5 (Hope)

"And faith, hope, charity and love, with an eye single to the glory of God, qualify him for the work."

*Hope*

Webster: 1: to cherish a desire with anticipation ; 2 trust; 3: to desire with expectation of obtainment; 4: to expect with confidence

• Prov. 10:28 - h. of the righteous shall be gladness
• Hope is one of the keys of happiness!
• Prov. 13:12 - h. deferred maketh the heart sick
• Despair is the opposite of hope. When we defer hope, or despair, we become "heartsick"- depressed, downcast, downtrodden.
• Jer. 17:7 - Blessed is the man...whose h. the Lord is
• Rom. 4:18 - [Abraham] against h. believed in h.
• Rom. 5:2-5 - ...Rejoice in h. of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also; knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, h.: And h. maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
• These verses are rich in wisdom. We can rejoice in hope and "glory" in our trials! We are happy to have trials, as Paul of old, because trials bring patience. Patience brings experience. Experience then gives us hope because we know that things get better, that we can overcome hardships in our life.
• Rom. 8:24 - For we are saved by h.: but h. that is seen is not h.: for what a man seeth, why doeth he yet h. for?
• This seems to be one of the purposes of the veil. We have forgotten our premortal life with our Father that we may learn to trust in him or, in other words, to hope for the fulfillment of His promises to us.
• Rom. 15:4 - For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have h.
• Here is a tiny jewel of truth. The scriptures were written a long time ago- FOR OUR LEARNING. The scriptures, through our patience- or diligent study- will give us hope. I think this is because as we study the scriptures we learn the word of God, including His plan for us. As we learn that word, the Spirit bears witness to us that it is true. When we receive that witness, we then trust in the Lord's promises, or develop HOPE.
• Heb. 6:19 - Which h. we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast...
• In the tumultuous times in which we live, many are tossed about on the waves of uncertainty. Hope is the anchor of our soul that can keep us tied down, sure and steadfast, to the foundation of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
• Ether 12:4 - Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with a surety h. for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which h. cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.
• When we are discouraged we can simply ask ourselves if we truly believe in God. If the answer is yes, we are promised that we can therefore hope for a better world than this, even a place at the right hand of God!
• Moro. 8:26 - Comforter filleth with h. and perfect love
• Hope is one of the fruits of the Spirit.

Oftentimes, I get discouraged at the wickedness of the world. It seems that Satan is lurking in every corner. But when despair threatens to overwhelm me, I focus on my burning testimony that God lives, that He is in charge, and that He will conquer in the end. This testimony gives me the hope for the future that I need to keep pressing ever onward.

D&C 4:5 (Faith)

"And faith, hope, charity and love, with an eye single to the glory of God, qualify him for the work."

*Faith*

(Bible Dictionary)

• to hope for things which are not seen, but which are true
• so many things we can't see- Christ, Heavenly Father, the Holy Ghost- yet I know they are there
• must be centered in Jesus Christ in order to produce salvation
• salvation is granted to us under Christ's atoning sacrifice if we but believe in Him and have faith that as we live our lives according to His will, we will be saved in His kingdom
• to have confidence in something or someone
• It's interesting to look at it this way. Do I have confidence in my Savior? Do I have confidence that Joseph Smith truly saw God the Father and Jesus Christ? I guess when I say I know these things to be true, I am most certainly confident in the reality of the things I profess to believe.
• The Lord has revealed himself and his perfect character, possessing in their fulness all the attributes of love, knowledge, justice, mercy, unchangeableness, power, and every other needful thing, so as to enable the mind of man to place confidence in him without reservation.
• One of my favorite scriptures has always been Proverbs 3:5 & 6. "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." I have always been painfully aware of my imperfections. I am prideful, selfish, rash, easily offended, and so much more. This keen awareness of my lowly state makes it so easy "to place confidence in him without reservation." I KNOW that Heavenly Father is perfect, He sees all, and He loves me! What better guide could I possibly have to help me maneuver this life and the many obstacles that Satan places in my path? I may THINK that I know what is best for myself, but Heavenly Father KNOWS what is best for me.
• kindled by hearing the testimony of those who have faith
• First, we gain our testimony by hearing others bear theirs. Second, once we have gained our own testimony, it is our responsibility to bear it to others, thereby spreading faith throughout the world.
• not produced by miracles
• Laman and Lemuel saw an angel. Immediately after the light had faded from that glorious vision, they began to complain once more. Sometimes I think it would be nice to see Christ; to feel of His love so close and to be reassured that I really can do this. Yet even without that blessing, I know that He is there and I don't have to see Him to know that.
• strong f. developed by obedience to the gospel of Jesus Christ; i.e., comes by righteousness, although miracles often confirm one's f.
• Now obedience is where faith is truly nurtured. When we are obedient and receive the blessings from that obedience, our faith grows and our desire to be even more obedient increases. When we are blessed to be either a recipient or a witness of a miracle, our faith is validated.
• a principle of action and of power
• Action! We cannot have true faith without action. Faith is also the foundational power of the priesthood.
• by it one can command the elements and/or heal the sick, or influence any number of circumstances when occasion warrants
• It is humbling to realize how frail my faith is when I realize its full potential. I feel like I have a great deal of faith until I realize that faith can even move mountains. Very humbling.
• by f. one obtains a remission of sins and eventually can stand in the presence of God
• It's interesting to think of faith as a requirement for forgiveness. I guess we would have to have faith in Christ's atonement if we are to truly be clean and forsake our sins.
• must be based upon correct knowledge or it cannot produce the desired results
• One cannot have faith in a false prophet or false doctrine and expect to see miracles.
• F. in Jesus Christ is the first principle of the gospel
• Faith is the foundation of our testimonies. It is the starting point. It is the key to all gospel knowledge and the gateway to the path that leads us back to our Father.
• more than belief, since true f. always moves its possessor to some kind of physical and mental action
• This is where much of today's Christianity is lacking in truth. It is impossible to claim true faith without action. If I truly believe in something, I will act upon it.
• carries an assurance of the fulfillment of the things hoped for
• I hope to one day stand before Heavenly Father and my Savior and be pronounced clean and worthy to live with them forever. Faith gives me the assurance that this desire will one day be a reality.
• a lack of f. leads to despair, which comes because of iniquity
• Even when we are saddened by the actions of others or discouraged by a wicked world, as long as we are righteous, we can hold tight to our faith and dispel despair.
• a gift
• We must continually pray for this gift.
• must be cultured and sought after until it grows from a tiny seed to a great tree
• Faith needs to grow. It is not just something we get and that is the end of it. We must be obedient and act, thereby continually increasing our faith.
• the effects of true f. in Jesus Christ include:
• (1) an actual knowledge that the course of life one is pursuing is acceptable to the Lord
• This is a humbling thought. I feel like I am so weak and unworthy at times. There are moments when my weaknesses threaten to overwhelm me and drag me down once and for all. Yet when I look at it in this light, I do know that despite my weaknesses "the course of life [I am] pursuing is acceptable to the Lord". I am trying to be a good mother, a good wife, a good visiting teacher, a good YW leader. I am working on my scripture study, personal prayers, FHE, and temple attendance. I pay an honest tithe and attend church every Sunday. I yearn for spiritual experiences. Yes, I know that I am headed in the right direction. I am just grateful that I have a lifetime to get there.
• (2) a reception of the blessings of the Lord that are available to man in this life
• The Lord is anxious to bless us in this life, not just in the world to come. Happiness is possible right here and now.
• (3) an assurance of personal salvation in the world to come
• I know that Heavenly Father has the power to save me from my sins.
• these three effects mentioned involve individual and personal testimony, guidance, revelation, and spiritual knowledge
• We must seek after personal revelation and spiritual knowledge. They will help us grow and keep us always on the right path.
• where there is true f. there are miracles, visions, dreams, healings, and all the gifts of God that he gives to his saints
• Again, true faith has great and powerful potential for mighty works, if we can but nurture it and allow it to grow.
• obstacles to f.: pride/seeking for glory of world, spiritual blindness, hardheartedness
• Yep, this is where my weaknesses shine through. I must continually seek to dispel my pride and forsake the glory of the world.