Saturday, November 7, 2009

Family: The Sweetest Union for Tme and for Eternity - Marriage

Yesterday I volunteered to substitute for Sandee's primary class this Sunday. So I spent my scripture study time preparing the lesson. Today I get to read more in the Joseph Smith manual.

I am still pondering on the subject of loving my children. It doesn't sound right when I say it that way. I LOVE my children more than I ever thought I was capable of loving anything. I just need help in expressing that love and allowing my love for them to overcome and overshadow any frustration or anger I feel toward them. My love for them needs to be the primary feeling that they feel from me.

I went to this chapter for parenting inspiration but it begins with some excellent doctrine on the marriage relationship.

I am designed by Heavenly Father, for Lance, to be:
-a help to him (both temporally and spiritually)
-one into whose bosom he can pour all his complaints without reserve
-willing to take part of his burden
-soothing and encouraging of his feelings by my "gentle voice"

Joseph Smith counseled me as a wife to:

-not be teasing [poking fun at] Lance because of his deeds
-let the weight of my innocence, kindness and affection be felt, which is more mighty than a millstone hung about the neck
-not [use] war, not jangle [quarreling], not contradiction, or dispute, but meekness, love, purity

"When a man is borne down with trouble, when he is perplexed with care and difficulty, if he can meet a smile instead of an argument or a murmur-if he can meet with mildness, it will calm down his soul and soothe his feelings; when the mind is going to despair, it needs a solace of affection and kindness.... When you go home, never give a cross or unkind word to your husbands, but let kindness, charity and love crown your works henceforward."

Eliza R. Snow reported: "[The Prophet Joseph Smith] exhorted the sisters always to concentrate their faith and prayers for, and place confidence in their husbands, whom God has appointed for them to honor."

When I was 16 years old, I desired to get my patriarchal blessing. The number one concern I had was regarding my future spouse and eternal marriage. I had already seen so many unhappy and failed marriages in my short life up to that point that I desperately wanted to know what I needed to do to have a happy marriage. I fasted and prayed intensely that I might receive a specific answer in my blessing. When I got my blessing it was the sweetest, most powerfully spiritual experience I had ever had. I especially rejoiced in the beautiful promises and personal revelation I received regarding my husband. However, I distinctly remember leaving my blessing and briefly thinking that I hadn't really received any actual, working counsel about how to have a happy marriage. When I got the copy of my blessing in the mail, I read through it immediately and one single line popped out at me. It said, "And the Lord would have you know that all the days of your life you shall be honored and respected by he whom you shall honor." I felt a confirmation right then that this was the answer that I had asked Heavenly Father for. I needed to honor my husband. Beautifully simple and powerfully true.

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